Thursday night I spent hours poring through resources online about "biblical femininity," a term I had only discovered recently. I read through blogs, interviews, sermon scripts and excerpts about what women like Nancy Demoss, Leslie Basham and Carolyn McCulley had to say about BIBLICAL womanhood. And honestly, I didn't like much of what I read. I'm still wrestling through the ideas that I'm reading...ideas about womanhood and our invaluable roles in the church and home as women, wives and mothers. But... I didn't like much of what I read.
I honed in on articles written by Carolyn McCulley and clicked through one site after another from topics ranging from Singleness and Courtship to even some on Marriage/Family. Part of my voracious reading was fueled by how combative and rebellious I felt towards her perspective, particularly some of her articles on single women. Mid-way through this spontaneous exploration I had to check my heart, where was all this anger coming from? Why was I so angry reading about how single women should cultivate domesticity? Why was I so angry to hear that a woman's home is her mission field? Does my sense of feminism really go against what the Bible says about true womanhood?
I felt like my head was going to explode.
There's still a lot of HUMBLING, self-reflection, praying and unlearning that I have to do.. through my own personal experiences, through my all-women's college education, through my mother's role growing up, through the misunderstandings and lies I've bought into about what it means to be a beautiful, biblical woman.. I have to sift through it all to get through to the truth. I know that there is an answer and that's what keeps me searching. I know that there is an endearing truth to the Proverbs 31 woman but I need to take it one day at a time.
