All of the tables had pink table clothes and pink napkins and champagne glasses with pink ribbons tied around them. Flowers of all shades of pink were arranged in the center of every table in the auditorium and the biggest, four tier lavender pink cake I had ever seen in my entire life stood posed on the front table with the newlyweds. Bridesmaids dressed in their silky, bright magenta gowns sat in a row to the left of the couple while the groomsmen matched the ceremony in their slightly lighter shade of pink neck bow ties and vests on other side. The discordant array of pinks arranged throughout the gynasium hurt my eyes and gave the entire reception a cheap impression. I took a seat in one of the round tables and looked down at a plate piled high with Korean food and was immediately pleased with the collected portion.

I started nibbling on something while I tried to casually scan the room full of chattering wedding guests. Surprisingly, many of them were men and women around my parents' age even though the bride and groom were only a year or two older than me. While I skimmed through the crowd of faces my eyes spotted a familiar face and like a knee-jerk reaction, I locked eyes with him. I immediately regretted it. I had accidentally found him seated with his friends, enjoying his conversation and looking quite handsome in his tux. I don't know why I didn't say walk over to say hello or ask how he was doing when our eyes met. I don't know why he didn't either. He had become a stranger to me, more accurately, we had become strangers to each other but neither of us chose to reintroduce ourselves.

It's ironic to me that in this season of planning and planning and seeking and hoping for the future, I am constantly being reminded of past relationships. Some reminders are encouragements, relationships mended and renewed by time coupled with forgiveness but others still rest heavy on my heart. Like trying to see through a thick fog in the morning, there is an ethereal sense of permanence. At times I can see through it, make out the road ahead but other times I stand in the cloud of white blinded, defeated and stuck indefinitely.